Anvi's Story Time

  N.I.C.E. Writing N o confusing areas I s it interesting? C hange any unnecessary parts   E dit Wrong: Abby was playing at recess and saw a lonly person and was not not kind. She wanted to help the person so she asked if she could play with them. The person said yes and lived happily ever after. Corrections: Abby was playing at recess and saw a lonly person and was not not kind.  She wanted to help the person so she asked if she could play with them. The person said yes and lived happily ever after. ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ =spelling mistake (E) ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ =confusing part (N) RED =unnecessary part(C) ITALIC = Change (E) Correct: Abby was playing at recess and saw a lonely person. She was very kind, and wanted to help the person so she asked if she wanted to play with them. The person said yes and played happily. Hope this helps!!

  The Portal  Once, there was a girl named Emma. She was very nice and had a lot of friends. One day, she was playing with her friends Lily, Sophia, and Jasmine when they saw a portal! They were curious but tried to ignore it. But they still got sucked in! And worse yet, Emma had a meeting to go to, Which is in 30 minutes! “We need to find a way out!”. Emma exclaimed. “Any ideas?”. We all stood in silence. “Well first we need to figure out where we are.” Sophia said. “Good point,but how do we figure that out?” Emma asked. We all stood silent again. “Hmm… well it’s cold, white, I think we’re in.. Antarctica? Well that explains why it’s so cold!” Lily said. “And worse yet, no one has coats!”. “Well That’s a bummer. Well let’s try finding shelter!” Jasmine  said. They walked and walked until they found an igloo. “Finally! Some warmth!” Emma said. “Let’s try to make a fire with ice.”.  Everyone nodded and gathered as much ice as possible, along with a few rocks. Luckily, ice was everywhere